captainfuckingmagic | NO 8% CHANCE | IC Contact.

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NO 8% CHANCE | IC Contact.

'Hey, this is Harry. I don't know why you're calling but I'll try to call you back.'

[ call | text | send pictures | action | trolling | misc. | totally open ]

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hey you. haven't heard from you in a while. still alive?

yeah. still here. somewhere. howare you?

absolutely beautiful. this curse has me in tears. literal tears.

Tears? I think I almost got eaten by this super creepy lady. Other than that, yeah, sure. fun.

it's a difficult life, looking like this. was she hot? easy on the eyes? attractive? busty?

Edited 2012-01-19 06:36 (UTC)

creepy. pale. bubonic. [beat.] She was pretty though, yeah. Bit skinny, but.

Edited 2012-01-19 06:41 (UTC)

shame. whatever, better fish in the sea and better-looking women to get eaten by.

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action. (you could not have possibly lost him faster.)

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action. (tony does not like to repeat himself...)

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action. (it's okay he's the coolest person harry's ever been friends with so he doesn't care)

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action. (BUT TONY'S THE WORST FRIEND IN THE WORLD HARRY. RUN.)

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action. (NOT SO FAR.)

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Tony is absolutely going to kill what little self-confidence Harry actually has

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Don't worry, Harry. Tony will teach you gently.

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thank...you?

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Dude they're called Daddy issues. You drown 'em with whiskey. Now I'm drowning yours and mine.

wtf are you talkin g about

did u get one of those hearts

Hey! It was candy! How was I supposed to know I'd get friggin' 'this is your life, Harry'

who eats randm fucking can--- nvm wht did u c

Dude! It's candy!

[Give him a second. He's still focused on candy. He's a child. Really. Oh right. There was a question and the candy wasn't normal.]

You and your dad fighting. Big one.

[Surprise! Lucy sounds drunk.]

Harry, Harry, Harry. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaake up and talk to me.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Technically I have no lung capacity so I don't know if that means I can scream your name forever or not at all. I mean clearly not at all because listen.

You ready?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

You have an excellent name for screaming.

WHY is your phone on silent? I don't think that's allowed. I think it's one of the terms of our friendship. Phones must never be on silent.

Harry, the guy down the bar is looking weird at me. Maybe because I've been yelling into the phone at you. Come private detective him for me.

Seriously HOW can you sleep through this? I'm pretty sure nobody else in the entire City is.

And speaking of sleep, are you secretly a grandpa? 'Cause I don't think even grandpas go to bed as early as this. In fact, a grandpa hit on me earlier and he's still here at the bar.

Wake up!

Okay, so now I'm going to sing to you. Prepare yourself.

[She takes a deep breath and launches into a drunk rendition of Sweet Home Alabama]

[LUCY. OH MY GOD. He answers in the middle of this voicemail because these devices totally allow you to do that. His voice is a bit deeper and rumbly because yes, he was sleeping, but that's just because he sucks at staying awake on stakeouts. He's not telling her that though.]

What the hell. Stoppit. Stop singing. What are you doing?

[She is very drunk, okay? And very bored and let's face it, would probably do the same thing sober and bored. She does stop the singing though.]

Driiiiiinking. I was dancing on the bar but I got tired. What are you doing?

[She would. He's trying to wake up and move around a little; where he fell asleep isn't really comfortable.]

On the bar? Nothing, I'm... [There's no way that person is still here. It's dark out. Fan-fucking-tastic.] I'm getting ready to go home. Unless. [AUGH. Sleep, wake up, wake up, c'mon Harry. Wake up.] Do you want me to come to the bar?

[She's fairly oblivious to anything he's doing. She's far too drunk for that.]

It's the best place to dance, Harry. Everyone can see you. [Oh Harry, you can't just offer that to Lucy when she's drunk.] Yes please! I need someone to drink with, otherwise I just look like an alcoholic.

Yeah, but, can't you fall and bust your ass? After the heels and the glass and shit? And... falling in general.

[Well he doesn't know that. Although he thought she was calling him for a ride home. Now, apparently that was not the case.] You what? I meant... What time is -- nevermind I have a watch. [Rubbing his face some more. What the hell.] Which one are you at?

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i changed it because that was the wrong icon ENTIRELY

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I UNDERSTAND

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I just noticed I said Harry in the other one when I meant Perry.

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S'okay I sort of figured

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